This Monday, July 1st, Canada will turn 146. This blog is a list of all things Canada for all those who are Canadian and still suffer from an identity crisis, or those who are not Canadian, and want to know what Canadians are really like.
I’m dedicating this blog to our Canadian family living in the Seattle area, and doing a great job of integrating into their new surroundings. I’m sure the locals don’t suspect a thing!
This is being Canadian…
- We do say ‘eh‘ a lot, but we think it’s more polite than ‘what?’, or ‘huh?‘
- We don’t often say ‘No Doubt About It‘ (sounds like ‘nuh doot aboot it’ – it helps with the pronunciation if you purse your lips while saying it)
- Almost none of us have even seen a real igloo let alone lived in one
- We get really excited if ANY Canadian city, object, map, name, person, idea, sport, or anything else Canadian gets mentioned on a U.S. television show
- No one has a pet polar bear – they eat people
- Beavers and Canada Geese are annoying…really!
- Maple syrup is not on every kitchen table
- Celine Dion and Justin Bieber are our gift to the world…. please don’t return them
- Plaid jackets and fur hats are not part of our wardrobe…at least not in the cities
- Most of us don’t speak French…in fact most French Canadians don’t really speak French – they speak ‘Frenglish’
- Poutine is not our national dish, but it should be
- We spell neighbour and honour and colour with a ‘u’. I don’t know why, and Microsoft Word hates it
- We really don’t like it when we’re told our currency looks like Monopoly money
- We’ll almost never pick a fight, but we’ll almost never back down from one either
- Even though we have oceans on 3 of our 4 sides, the West Edmonton Mall has more submarines than our navy – don’t tell Russia
- Canadians like their beer
- Overall, we are very polite. We even apologize when someone else bumps into us
- We invented basketball and hockey, but our official national sport is lacrosse….I don’t know why
- We eat chocolate bars and drink pop, not candy bars and soda
- We don’t know ‘Dave’ from Vancouver
- Most of us don’t understand what people from Newfoundland are saying, either
- Universal health care is great, and it doesn’t make us communists
- We interchange the Metric and Imperial systems because we’re still trying to figure out what the heck a deciliter is
- William Shatner (Canadian) keeps getting cooler
- We know that you’re not from here because you pronounce ‘Toronto‘ the way it’s spelt
- There are only 8 people for every square mile of land (or 3.4 per square kilometer), but most of us are crammed into a tiny area around Lake Ontario
- The Royal Canadian Mounted Police are almost never mounted
- Tim Horton’s coffee is an obsession. Get over it
- We pronounce it ‘zed’ not ‘zee’
That’s being Canadian, from ‘eh’ to ‘zed’. I hope you found this blog educational and insightful. I also apologize for anything in the aforementioned blog that may be found offensive or otherwise in poor taste and I in no way mean to slander either Ms. Dion or Mr. Bieber…or French Canadians….or beavers. The comment on the geese stands.
Happy Birthday, Hoser! (we don’t really say that either…)
P.S. – my band ‘Barefoot’ will be playing a street party this Canada Day in Oshawa, and accepting food donations for a local food bank. It will be a free event. If you’re in the area and want to drop by, let me know and I’ll give you the details.