Nude photos? Call me ‘Jebediah’

JebediahWith the recent iPhone photo privacy breeches that poor Jennifer Lawrence suffered, showing her flawless body to the world by mistake, it got me thinking about us normal people and what would happen if the same happened to you or me.

Imagine the trauma of standing in line at your local grocery store, browsing the tabloids when ‘horror of horrors’, there’s a high-def photo of you wearing nothing but your pearly whites and a feather boa.  The headline reads ‘Local Blogger Struts Naked After VERY Cold Shower!’  – More photos on page 98.

That’s the stuff of nightmares!  You wouldn’t even be sure of what to do:  buy them all up and look like a total ego nut, or cover your face and dash out, leaving your whipped cream and non-staining chocolate syrup on the belt?

Okay, so it’s not likely that any publisher would even know who I was, let alone be brave enough or stupid enough to post nude pictures of a lumpy, hairy middle-aged guy on the cover of their paper any time soon.

But that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t make their way out into the vast electronic world, does it?  You’re reading this blog right now aren’t you?  That’s proof enough that people will look at almost anything on the internet!

That’s why I’m taking the Amish approach to nude photos.  ‘The English’ can’t be trusted with these temptations, so cameras or other recording devices are strictly forbidden in my ‘sleeping room’.

Like the saying ‘Abstinence is the best form of birth control’ goes, the same should apply for naked pictures or videos.  If you don’t have them, they can’t end up staring at your neighbour in the express check-out line.

I might hang on to the feather boa for a while though…just to keep me warm.