Twas the month before Christmas

tangled lightsTwas the month before Christmas, and in my garage; the decorations crashed down in a thund’rous barrage. The kids had all vanished like a Copperfield trick; and my hopes of assistance were dashed in a lick.

The weather it whistled and howled bitter cold; “Get your lights up early“, my neighbour foretold. In full winter gear, I yanked and I tried; to get at the boxes in the rafters I plied.

With my ladder in hand I began to finesse; and sort all the lights and bows, what a mess! They tangled and fought at my greatest attempt; to free them but they were so filled with contempt.

The wind it picked up as if right on cue; and tossed the decors while I watched as they flew. The darkness descended on my efforts outside; “Turn on the porch light” I yelled to my bride.

I steadied myself on the roof near the eve; but with cold frozen fingers I stapled my sleeve. The contraption would jam and I’d let out a howl; “How could they invent something so foul?”

At last the nasty nest of wires and lights; were affixed to the house with more than a few fights.  The cords I did run in an ungodly course; that ended with the wrong end at the source.

The battle was fought through the cold and dark skies; but I pressed on as frozen tears stung my eyes.  I finally won with more than some doubt; Only to find half of the string had burned out.

A litany of expletives were on the edge of my lips; when I turned to see kids watching with hands on their hips. “Hello there kids” was all I could muster, causing a mild stroke from holding back all that bluster.

Back up the darned ladder I labored and fought; one of these lights is the culprit I thought. With steadfast conviction I tested 4 dozen; those tiny darned bulbs they can hide but can’t run.

When all of a sudden like a chorus of Angels; the lights flashed on and lit up like gold bangles.  I cheered and I laughed and my wife I did call; since in all the commotion, the ladder did fall.

I sat on the roof and thought long and hard; each year I proceed the same way and it’s marred. Next year I promised I’ll do it with care; I’ll put them away properly and try not to swear.

I hope that your Christmas is filled with delight, and as you look out in the cold winter night; if you notice the guy on the roof cross the way; bring over some rum – he’s been up there all day!

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